Burning the Past Away
by KlausCarolineLover
Summary: Dean/Abby, Photograph


My fingertips turn a chalky white has I hold on to that damn stack of photos for dear life, faces of loves ones and faces of the dead. The urge to rip them to pieces always calmed by that deadly love that is still very much alive, but now after years of tortuous memory I just wanted it to all end.

(turn that face that I looked at in love and friendship to ash)

"I want to burn everything to do with him, Dean, every last picture with his smiling face that still haunts me, but I need someone to do it with me. Will you help me, please?"

Since that day on the beach when I watched two people I loved die, one by my own now bloody hands, I haven't met anyone I wanted to share my horror tale with until Dean Winchester walked in.

(sharing horror stories with a hunter can be quite a fun experience, it at least prepares you for the other horrors in life)

"You know, Abs, I have quite a few faces I'd love to get rid of myself, it will be a party, drinking is not optional."

Without even asking he rips the photos from my hands knowing if I was left with them I wouldn't have the balls to burn them, especially the ones that hold Jimmy's smiling face.

(his face that went dark after he died trying to save me)

"Take away all the supernatural shit and you and Sam would have been snatched up quickly in the real world. God, you were so cute."

I rubbed my finger over Dean's smiling face, remembering a simpler time when all these horrors weren't pressing down on our shoulders, arms holding his brother up and like they still did even now.

(most days I wish that Dean had been by my side as a child instead of Henry, then maybe everything would have been so much better)

"I still am, sweetheart. And you and Henry were quite huggable at the same age, it's a pity."

I couldn't help but flinch at the mentation of his name, the same one that still haunts all of dreams, but his warm hands on my shoulders kept me from reliving that damn day for the millionth time.

(and for the millionth time trying to get rid of any love I had for the sick son of a bitch and always failing)

"I think it's more horrible, now I don't see him as a child, only a murderous incestuous bastard."

These days I try to think of Henry as he should be, a horrible monster who tricked me from the very start, hoping one day I can get rid of the love I still have for the bastard.

"Yeah, that last part brings the ick factor to a new level, throw the son of a bitch right in that flame, babe."

Watching his face melt ended up brining me some peace, glad that I might never see his face again expect in my nightmares, while Dean burned away the memories of a life without demons.

"Hopefully it's the last time I'll ever see his face again, and pray that 20/20 doesn't do another show about our horror filled lives' to entertain the masses."

"Well, if that happens, sweetheart, I promise to not watch it, but I can't say the same about Sammy. He enjoys those types of sick shows."

With him I can't help but smile, something that doesn't come easy like it once did (with Henry it was too damn easy) but these days I always have the nagging feeling with pretty much everyone that their smiles might be a mask.

(after all I had the wool pulled over my eyes for so many years with Henry)

"My last one, Jimmy and me, a few months before Wakefield ruined everything."

Seeing our two smiling naïve teen faces brought up a whole lot of horrible memories but instead of letting myself get sucked in I threw the picture in the flames.

"And my too happy family before everything was shot to hell. Looks like were finished burning the past, Mills, maybe we should focus on our future now."

As our pictures burned away, burning Henry's horrid smiling face was something I would never regret doing, it felt like the weight of those days was finally leaving me as I let myself give in and kissed the hell out of Dean Winchester.

"This doesn't mean I'm your girlfriend now, Winchester, you'll have to shape up a whole hell lot more before that happens."

(I tried to put on a show but inside that wonderful grin of his was already melting me)

"I think that can be done, Mills."


End file.
